Yours Truly
by Hannah Rubix
Summary: His best friend was dead. He wasn't supposed to feel this way about his girlfriend. But he did, and he couldn't stop it. A Toby/Mia.


Discalmier: I do not own Degrassi or anything involved in it.

I know TOby likes Liberty and bla blah blah, but honestly, Toby and Mia shoudl be given a chance. I wrote this half asleep, so please rate and review 3

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The sight of her nearly overwhelmed him. Even when she was dressed in the simplest black with crystal tears falling down her cheeks she was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen. She looked exotic, a beauty that was out of place at a school like this. She was too good, too untouched to be at this school. Bad things happen to people here, whether it was relationships ruined, people hurt, rape, or even murder. She didn't belong in this world, but he felt as if he were the only one that knew it. Her hair glistened in its dark curls which rippled down her back and shone deep brown in the sun. Her eyes were like tiny drops of a delicious coffee blend, more irresistible than the sweetest of chocolates. Her skin was the golden brown color that most girls basked in the sun for hours just to achieve, but hers was that rich color naturally. Her body was admirable, with her average height and healthy body, curvier than any he had seen, softer than most, yet filled with fit muscles. And his favorite thing about her was her smile, the way it could light up a room and make anyone around her grin. Even when she was angry, or sad, she could make him happy. Her dimples were adorable; they made him think of laughter, something he hadn't thought of in a long time. She was incredible, and not only to look at. She wasn't at all frail, inside and out. And she gave him a feeling he had never really experienced.

He wasn't sure if it was Isabella, or if it was just her that made her the strongest girl he knew. She had some sort of inner strength that she was using now, at school, to hold herself together. If any other girl he knew was in her place, they would've broken down a long time ago. A single 17 year old mother with a 2 year old daughter, and her one love dead, only to be told he was in love with someone else by him, Toby Isaacs. He only told her that so that she could see how JT had used her to get over his first love, but she didn't take the bait. She kept on telling herself that JT loved her, and that he was lying to her because he wanted to make Liberty feel better. And in a way he was, Liberty deserved better then thinking that JT loved Mia and hated her.

He knew that JT loved Mia too, but Liberty was his first love. And the girl he wanted above anyone else still loved JT. She was brave, and smart, and funny, and sweet. He couldn't believe a girl like her could've gotten pregnant; she was like an angel, appearing much too innocent for something like that to happen to her. She was smart, smarter than anyone gave her credit for, she was athletic (she should've gotten onto the Spirit Squad, but Darcy's prejudices got the better of her), she was sweet, and she was just plain amazing. There was nothing she couldn't do if she set her mind to it, and he didn't want to take her up on it. She was stubborn and determined, two qualities that were irresistible. JT sure liked is women headstrong and feisty.

There was something else involved. Jealousy. He was Toby Isaacs, school nerd, the guy that no girl wanted. He was known as JT's best friend, known as nothing else. Mia saw him as a friend of her boyfriend, and maybe now just a friend. JT always got the girl, whether Liberty or Mia, and Toby was always left wanting his best friend's girlfriend. Liberty was a childhood crush, the female version of him. But after he kissed her, he realized that's all it would ever be. Mia was different. When he first saw her, he fell, hard and fast. But she was starry eyed for JT; anyone could see that, especially Toby. So he played the role of the best friend, the supportive one, and whenever he acted snobby or mean to Mia people thought it was because she took over Liberty's role, and he was jealous that JT gave her more attention than him. He would insult her, and act snobby, and hurt her feelings because he was jealous, and wanted her to know all about what JT would do to a breakable girl like her. Who knew how long it would be until he hurt Mia just like he hurt almost every other girl he dated? It was only a matter of time.

But no, JT didn't shatter Mia's heart by choosing another girl over her. He went to a party, Liberty's birthday party, and realized he still loved Liberty. He was going to break Mia's heart. Toby knew it. But then he was stabbed, and there was the horrible pain of losing his best friend that pierced him and made him forget about Mia. JT was really gone, and he was alone now, with no real close friends left. There was still Manny, Liberty, and Emma, but none of them knew him as well as JT did. Liberty almost did, but he had to screw it up by kissing her. And Mia, well, she wasn't speaking to him very much. Not since he told her JT still loved Liberty and got angry with her at JT's memorial at Degrassi. All he could do was watch her walk around, grief stricken and alone now. He was stuck with the pain of wanting something he could never had, wanting his dead best friend's girlfriend. That wasn't good, that wasn't normal. That would be a horrible thing to do, something inexcusable. It was like in that movie Pearl Harbor, when the main girl's fiancé died, and then his best friend swooped in only for the fiancé to come back alive. He didn't want JT to hate him, even though he was dead. Anyways, he had absolutely no chance to be with a girl like Mia. He, the nerd, and Mia, the beautiful, ex cheerleader, could never belong together. Right now, he was looking at Mia mournfully from across the hallway again, a natural position for him to be in.

He was surprised when the brunette goddess walked up to him, smiling a small and secret smile. "Hey Toby," she greeted in her velvet voice that sounded like honey to him. He couldn't let her now that she affected him like this. "Hi Mia," he replied monotonously, and noticed her face fall a bit. "I just came up here to give you something." With those words, she pulled a small envelope out of her light, cream colored bag. "She snatched it away from his hands for a second, making him laugh involuntarily and she soon joined in with her laughter that sounded like silver bells to his ears. "Don't open it now, open it after I go," she murmured, again smiling as if she were holding in a great secret. "OK…" he replied, uncertain of why she wanted to keep what was written a secret. "So how are you?' Instantly her smile disappeared. "I'm doing…better." She struggled to say those words. "What about you? It must be hard." He just nodded, unsure of how to continue. She looked at her watch and grimaced. "I have to go, I have Kwan next, and you know how she gets. Bye Tobs," she waved a bit more cheerfully. He blinked, that was the first time he called her that. As soon as se walked away, he tore through the envelope.

_Dear Toby,_

_I know this has to be awkward for you, reading this instead of me telling you. But I can't. When I try to say something, the words won't come out. I want to tell you, but this is the only way I can. Toby, I really, really cared about JT. More than I've ever cared for anyone. But then there's another feeling, something I can't ignore now. He's dead, I shouldn't be thinking, let alone saying things like this. Toby, you are incredible. I care about more deeply than I realized, I care about much more then I thought I did. You're not a friend to me, who am I kidding? I…I can't say it, but we can't be together. Not now, not so soon after. But I'll always be thinking of you, keep that in mind. JT is dead, but his death helped me realize something. I want you, Toby Isaacs, and I need you to know that. Someday, soon hopefully, we can be together._

_Mia 3_

Toby read the note and blinked disbelievingly; he skimmed the note again and again. The words she wrote; they couldn't be true. She loved JT, not him. Just like every other girl he had liked. But here she was, saying that she wanted him, and that they should be together. And she was right. They couldn't be together, not now. But someday soon they could, Toby would make sure of it.


End file.
